Awkwardly Human and Beautifully Gothic

Or, How I came to be whatever the hell it is I ‘am.’

There’s some interesting reading to be had over at The Ultimate Goth Guide, I’m thinking about Day 2 and Day 3 in particular at the moment.

I was never a babybat that I can think of, I didn’t dress darkly that much when I was a teen. I don’t have many photos at all actually. In fact I remember one outfit I put together to go out with my family for dinner with I was 13: bright green t-shirt, black vest, black mini skirt and red tights. I felt great. My family was amused.

When I got older, I discovered Marilyn Manson. I was in awe of the girls and boys who looked so delectably dark. I went to Japan – Gothic Lolita Bible, Mana and EGL, need I say more?! I also discovered how much I liked dressing up and sadly, I discovered how much the outfits I actually wanted to wear cost. That was and is my biggest hinderance to dressing up the way I want to – it’s so damn expensive!

I discovered Goth wasn’t the only subculture I liked. I also like Metal. And Tea Parties. And Art. And Fetish. And Cute Things (No ‘Luv-hearts’ and ‘Butterflys’ though – not unless they look like real hearts and moths. Which they then cease to be cute. But I still like them.). So how did I come out of the Goth closet when so often these subcultures don’t see eye to eye?

I came out wearing long black skirts and my hair teased out, something like the above picture. I sat down on a nearby mushroom and listened to the music. Then I got up and went over to the other side of the room, made myself a cup of tea and put on another skirt, this one cream with dainty roses all over it, and a changed my corset to something coordinating. On another day I could have looked like this:

When I thought I was ready to see what else it was all about, I did this:

The I put on my best coat my Nana wore in the 1960s:

And found another thing that is just as fun:

Oops, did I really just post that?!

Anyway, while I was out trying all these different things I found the really good people like and love you regardless of what you’re into. Mostly because they’re into some of it too, or at the very least they find it interesting.

I also found that you don’t have to ‘fit’ just one subculture. For me, it was too limiting.

When I’m not dressed up I’m an Awkward Human. When I am, I’m whoever I want to be! I am Chameleon, watch me change!

Thanks to Amy for getting me to think about this! πŸ™‚


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